some comfort zone fun in my sketchbook after my motivation was triggered by Winx Club’s Professor Palladium in a Youtube Video I found yesterday (so my type ehehehehe 😀 immature fangirl giggle). Watching the second season as drawing-background now because his character design in the first season is… not as fangirl-worthy
my first self-grown basil woohoo I’m so excited ♥ and the tomato I got from my boss is also doing great
Hello Blog – and people who read it.
Yesterday I felt as lonely and depressed as I haven’t been in a very VERY long time. I wrote a long blog post, that will probably stay in my drafts forever. Rambling about how lonely I’m feeling, that maybe a new job and appartment would change things for the better but I don’t even have the energy to declutter and do my household sometimes and how I don’t even have the money for traveling or a two-week-vacation most people can afford once a year to gather some much needed new energy.
And then I went outside.
On a forest walk like I was being chased. Well, I was, kind of. Trying to escape my own head and the negative thoughts overwhelming it. On this walk I actually managed to literally leave them behind. Even sitting down on a stone at a certain point, breathing in deeply, listening to the forests spring-evening-orchestra and indulging in the most positive kind of loneliness.
After I returned home
I took a shower , made myself a giant bowl of pasta and decided: I need a break from social media, especially before bed. Maybe it’s my actual situation but maybe it’s also instagram & co. frustrating the hell out of me. Although I KNOW nobody’s life is perfect (especially I should know better having a degree in graphic design, meaning image editing, photography & marketing). But well here I am being depressed about other people presenting their lives perfectly, not being actually perfect…
feels good to write this blogpost on my super old and slow little Windows XP Netbook while having breakfast in bed. I should make this a ritual.
Are you dealing with or have you dealt with social media causing depression, too, at some point?
haven’t been in bed till 9am in a veeery very long time 😂 time to get up
I probably had the most terrible moment walking into my living room this morning. One of my plant pots had sprouted some very ugly mushrooms over night… with abot 20cm stems and small fringy grey-ish matte heads that kept wobbling around when I took the whole pot outside and into the compost bin. Wish me luck, I don’t have to buy new soil because I repotted all my plants from the same big bag only recently.
Now I really need that first pot of coffee. The 500ml one. And hoping that beginning of a stress migraine leaves me alone again.
While I was staring at her waiting for her to fly she was staring at me staring at her through the lens – for what felt like half an hour
Yes, I’ve already abandoned this blog again
(Shame on me XD). But this week has been so stuffed with workdays, continuing my spring cleaning and a night of two hours of sleep after I’d seen Avengers Infinity War on wednesday midnight (Guys, go watch it, I seriously haven’t enjoyed CGI & 3D that much since Avatar).
Let’s start from the beginning. Wednesday Morning, 6am. After I had walked around a mile from my friend’s house, where I slept, to the train station, I realized, that 6:33 train I took on a daily basis for many years… did not exist anymore. So I went into town in search for some coffee and breakfast. And had the most wonderful hour in a very long time strolling around the french medieval town centre with a coffee and two chocolate croissants. I took some photos with my Minox I had with me on wednesday and will share it as soon as the film is finished and developed.
Talking about Cameras
being the Photography / Camera Nerd I am, yesterday I really missed my beloved 50mm Lens all of a sudden and dug out my good old Nikon that’s been laying around bareley touched since 2016 when I got my Sony RX100 as a smaller & lighter second cam (and which became my first & preferred cam from the start haha)
get things done
Basically I’m talking about the things that have to be done in every adult human being’s life. Papers, household, and so on. If it drives you crazy at 3am, that you haven’t done your taxes yet, take a few hours and do them. If you think about your dishes and your dirty kitchen, go do it before bed. You will wake up thinking about starting the day in a welcoming, beautiful environment.
a tidy environment walks hand in hand with a tidy mind
something that works so incredibly well for me. I’ve never been a tidy person or a clean freak and sometimes it’s a real struggle BUT I always feel better in a tidy, clean & beautiful environment
keep a journal
Very often in moments where the brain is messing with you the hardest, it feels like there’s not one single person in this world who truly understands what’s going on inside. In these times (especially at this horrible, cursed hour of 3am), treat a journal like a person. It takes everything in. It does not judge. It’s always there.
spend time outside
I know it’s easier said than done but in the end, it’s a good habit that can be practiced. It’s like a muscle. Getting stronger by using it. The more you charge your mind with positivity and peace, the stronger it gets coping with the bad moments.
avoid unhealthy people
as cruel as it sounds, some people are like poison. Some people may be better at coping with this kind but for me as a highly sensitive human being it’s very draining to have poisonous people in my environment, so if they are immune to positive energy, I try to avoid them as much as possible.
Funny how while sitting outside, writing my post on my phone, I actually had a conversation with a woman I did not know – about what I just wrote – every point of it.
I just had the best few hours in a very VERY long time ♥