escaping my head

 

Hello Blog – and people who read it.

Yesterday I felt as lonely and depressed as I haven’t been in a very VERY long time. I wrote a long blog post, that will probably stay in my drafts forever. Rambling about how lonely I’m feeling, that maybe a new job and appartment would change things for the better but I don’t even have the energy to declutter and do my household sometimes and how I don’t even have the money for traveling or a two-week-vacation most people can afford once a year to gather some much needed new energy.


And then I went outside.

On a forest walk like I was being chased. Well, I was, kind of. Trying to escape my own head and the negative thoughts overwhelming it. On this walk I actually managed to literally leave them behind. Even sitting down on a stone at a certain point, breathing in deeply, listening to the forests spring-evening-orchestra and indulging in the most positive kind of loneliness.

After I returned home

I took a shower , made myself a giant bowl of pasta and decided: I need a break from social media, especially before bed. Maybe it’s my actual situation but maybe it’s also instagram & co. frustrating the hell out of me. Although I KNOW nobody’s life is perfect (especially I should know better having a degree in graphic design, meaning image editing, photography & marketing). But well here I am being depressed about other people presenting their lives perfectly, not being actually perfect…

However

feels good to write this blogpost on my super old and slow little Windows XP Netbook while having breakfast in bed. I should make this a ritual.

Are you dealing with or have you dealt with social media causing depression, too, at some point?

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6 thoughts on “escaping my head

    1. I’m sorry to hear that, hope you’re feeling okay now. For me, winter was okay… to be honest, the last few months have been absolutely amazing, full of hope and motivation. But I knew I’d fall into the deep, dark hole again at some point. It always happens. But this blog post felt SO good. Took some courage but that feeling after I hit the publish-button…
      I’m so tired of living like Freddie Mercury’s Great Pretender is my spirit song XD

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  1. I definitely have and Ive also found that disconnecting and isolating myself outdoors helps ground me to what is important and what I should be grateful for. Thank you for sharing! It was a comforting read ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re welcome and thanks for commenting.
      I’m so happy to hear, I could share some comfort. It’s always what helps me the most. Getting the feeling I’m not the only one, not alone ๐Ÿ˜Š
      That’s what I’m thinking. We all should be more open about the bad moments, not only trying to seem perfect and happy while it destroys us on the inside and nobody even realizes.

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  2. As an IT technician reading about windows XP brings so much nostalgia. The best system ever! ๐Ÿ˜€ Forest walk is the best thing to do, and it even works in the evening, I’m too scared that something is going to eat me that I don’t have time to think about bad stuff. I don’t recommend it tough :’)

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    1. haha, yes. windows XP is still the best for basic computer stuff. I grew up starting with windows 95 as a kid in the 90s and XP is probably the one I used the longest.
      Yes, forest walks can be scary in the evening. I always try to be in town before it’s dark. Had an encounter with a giant boar once XD it seemed peaceful & did not follow me but I’d never run that fast before ๐Ÿ˜‚

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