escaping my head


Hello Blog – and people who read it.

Yesterday I felt as lonely and depressed as I haven’t been in a very VERY long time. I wrote a long blog post, that will probably stay in my drafts forever. Rambling about how lonely I’m feeling, that maybe a new job and appartment would change things for the better but I don’t even have the energy to declutter and do my household sometimes and how I don’t even have the money for traveling or a two-week-vacation most people can afford once a year to gather some much needed new energy.

And then I went outside.

On a forest walk like I was being chased. Well, I was, kind of. Trying to escape my own head and the negative thoughts overwhelming it. On this walk I actually managed to literally leave them behind. Even sitting down on a stone at a certain point, breathing in deeply, listening to the forests spring-evening-orchestra and indulging in the most positive kind of loneliness.

After I returned home

I took a shower , made myself a giant bowl of pasta and decided: I need a break from social media, especially before bed. Maybe it’s my actual situation but maybe it’s also instagram & co. frustrating the hell out of me. Although I KNOW nobody’s life is perfect (especially I should know better having a degree in graphic design, meaning image editing, photography & marketing). But well here I am being depressed about other people presenting their lives perfectly, not being actually perfect…


feels good to write this blogpost on my super old and slow little Windows XP Netbook while having breakfast in bed. I should make this a ritual.

Are you dealing with or have you dealt with social media causing depression, too, at some point?


Mushrooms in the Morning

I probably had the most terrible moment walking into my living room this morning. One of my plant pots had sprouted some very ugly mushrooms over night… with abot 20cm stems and small fringy grey-ish matte heads that kept wobbling around when I took the whole pot outside and into the compost bin. Wish me luck, I don’t have to buy new soil because I repotted all my plants from the same big bag only recently.

Now I really need that first pot of coffee. The 500ml one. And hoping that beginning of a stress migraine leaves me alone again.

The art of doing nothing

Yes, I’ve already abandoned this blog again

(Shame on me XD). But this week has been so stuffed with workdays, continuing my spring cleaning and a night of two hours of sleep after I’d seen Avengers Infinity War on wednesday midnight (Guys, go watch it, I seriously haven’t enjoyed CGI & 3D that much since Avatar).


Let’s start from the beginning. Wednesday Morning, 6am. After I had walked around a mile from my friend’s house, where I slept, to the train station, I realized, that 6:33 train I took on a daily basis for many years… did not exist anymore. So I went into town in search for some coffee and breakfast. And had the most wonderful hour in a very long time strolling around the french medieval town centre with a coffee and two chocolate croissants. I took some photos with my Minox I had with me on wednesday and will share it as soon as the film is finished and developed.

Talking about Cameras

being the Photography / Camera Nerd I am, yesterday I really missed my beloved 50mm Lens all of a sudden and dug out my good old Nikon that’s been laying around bareley touched since 2016 when I got my Sony RX100 as a smaller & lighter second cam (and which became my first & preferred cam from the start haha)


Wordpress Blog Post Sunday Vibes DSC_0500

Coping with Anxiety the holistic way

get things done

Basically I’m talking about the things that have to be done in every adult human being’s life. Papers, household, and so on. If it drives you crazy at 3am, that you haven’t done your taxes yet, take a few hours and do them. If you think about your dishes and your dirty kitchen, go do it before bed. You will wake up thinking about starting the day in a welcoming, beautiful environment.

a tidy environment walks hand in hand with a tidy mind

something that works so incredibly well for me. I’ve never been a tidy person or a clean freak and sometimes it’s a real struggle BUT I always feel better in a tidy, clean & beautiful environment

keep a journal

Very often in moments where the brain is messing with you the hardest, it feels like there’s not one single person in this world who truly understands what’s going on inside. In these times (especially at this horrible, cursed hour of 3am), treat a journal like a person. It takes everything in. It does not judge. It’s always there.

spend time outside

I know it’s easier said than done but in the end, it’s a good habit that can be practiced. It’s like a muscle. Getting stronger by using it. The more you charge your mind with positivity and peace, the stronger it gets coping with the bad moments.

avoid unhealthy people

as cruel as it sounds, some people are like poison. Some people may be better at coping with this kind but for me as a highly sensitive human being it’s very draining to have poisonous people in my environment, so if they are immune to positive energy, I try to avoid them as much as possible.

Funny how while sitting outside, writing my post on my phone, I actually had a conversation with a woman I did not know – about what I just wrote – every point of it.

I just had the best few hours  in a very VERY long time ♥

Setting Priorities

or why I want to start blogging again

I’ve always loved sharing thoughts & experiences

since I can remember in that aspect I’ve always been the typical woman – I love to talk.

A lot. Plus, I’m highly sensitive. I think a lot about anything and everything and I conciously perceive lots and lots of little things during a day that make me happy or sad or just make me think about things. And I love to improve my life. Constantly.


My private environment is not as interested

Sad but true. Which is one of the reasons how I got the idea to start a blog again … it’s a place to treat like a person without being a person that may react the wrong way or just not being interested enough. The thing is (to give you an example), I rearranged my living room after it had been in a state that’s been causing demotivation and anxiety for too long. I happily told my mum in a super long whatsapp about how I feel so much better and being so happy – and her plain reaction was … “nice”
Around the same time (last weekend) my best friend told me, I’m always texting so much she may not have gotten everything I told her.

Not expecting feedback from a blog

maybe texting people is the wrong way of sharing thoughts. at least for me it’s the most frustrating in my personal environment. Maybe I just need to tell things but if I’m texting people, I’m expecting certain things. Reactions to be precise. On Blogposts, reactions are appreciated but not expected.

Always torn between different social media

I love social media but no matter what platform I focus on and no matter what I’m trying, social media is wonderful, I really love it and need it, but it’s not enough. Will never feel as personal and private as a blog or website.

English is difficult but I will try

English has always been my preferred language because it is the one language, most people are able to understand. It’s no problem to chat or write social media captions – but it’s a whole different story to write long blog posts and trying to express my thoughts which are often multi-layered and chaotic.

Being the starving artist I am

I just deactivated my Netflix and Amazon Prime to focus on being more produtive. It’s My way of coping with finances. I know I could have started with a free wordpress but I dearly love my blog title and wanted to make sure the domain is mine from the start.

So. here I am again. Back at the thing I always return to in the end. being a blogger. LET’S DO THIS!