escaping my head

 

Hello Blog – and people who read it.

Yesterday I felt as lonely and depressed as I haven’t been in a very VERY long time. I wrote a long blog post, that will probably stay in my drafts forever. Rambling about how lonely I’m feeling, that maybe a new job and appartment would change things for the better but I don’t even have the energy to declutter and do my household sometimes and how I don’t even have the money for traveling or a two-week-vacation most people can afford once a year to gather some much needed new energy.


And then I went outside.

On a forest walk like I was being chased. Well, I was, kind of. Trying to escape my own head and the negative thoughts overwhelming it. On this walk I actually managed to literally leave them behind. Even sitting down on a stone at a certain point, breathing in deeply, listening to the forests spring-evening-orchestra and indulging in the most positive kind of loneliness.

After I returned home

I took a shower , made myself a giant bowl of pasta and decided: I need a break from social media, especially before bed. Maybe it’s my actual situation but maybe it’s also instagram & co. frustrating the hell out of me. Although I KNOW nobody’s life is perfect (especially I should know better having a degree in graphic design, meaning image editing, photography & marketing). But well here I am being depressed about other people presenting their lives perfectly, not being actually perfect…

However

feels good to write this blogpost on my super old and slow little Windows XP Netbook while having breakfast in bed. I should make this a ritual.

Are you dealing with or have you dealt with social media causing depression, too, at some point?

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Mushrooms in the Morning

I probably had the most terrible moment walking into my living room this morning. One of my plant pots had sprouted some very ugly mushrooms over night… with abot 20cm stems and small fringy grey-ish matte heads that kept wobbling around when I took the whole pot outside and into the compost bin. Wish me luck, I don’t have to buy new soil because I repotted all my plants from the same big bag only recently.

Now I really need that first pot of coffee. The 500ml one. And hoping that beginning of a stress migraine leaves me alone again.